[Jamie's Innerworkings] "Slightly Bored and Severely Confused"

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Clearly - I failed

Considering it has been 2 years since that last update.

Mike indeed popped the question, then we got married last September and now we're home owners.

Hoorah!

I won't make any promises of updating ... but maybe I might do it more frequently than every 2 years.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's been a while

(now I have the nickleback song stuck in my head)

And what better time for an update :)

So, I finished school and started a new job last month at a small law firm downtown and its going great! So much better than working at Weiss.

Things with Mike and I are good, and I'm hoping for him to pop the question in the next month or so (exciting :) ).

Sarah continues to be an awesome roomie!

And ya ... I only had a few minutes, but I promise this time I'm going to try to be better about updating.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

blessed be ...

So in the summer I wrote a post about 2008 being the "year of Jamie" and I'm happy to say it has been a success. As New Years is fast approaching, I've been reflecting on the last year.

It will be Mike and I's one year anniversary in a couple of weeks, and he is the man I want to be with. He is wonderful, and kind and gentle and loves me so much. He respects and cherishes me, and I him. When I think of a future with him, I just feel so ... complete. Heck, I can even envision the little pooping machines babies we'll have.

I had my moments of worries and self doubt and there have been some challenges but Mike and I have come through them stronger and better. We have had very few disagreements/quarrels, but I have stuck with the one relationship rule I believe is so important. To never go to bed angry or upset. He knows me. He knows me when I'm happy, and when I'm miserable and when I'm just being a bitch (I mean, I'm never bitchy, I'm Saint Jamie, I don't make shoppers employees cry [that's for you missina]). And he loves me and cares for me every step of the way.

He is moving out of his parents place to an apartment with his friend Andrew (he moved in with his parents after he was done school). And I'm excited for the new chapter in our relationship that his new independence will bring. I'm hoping to maybe be engaged by the summer.

I have one class left to take, I was going to take it in September but it got cancelled. So I'll be officially done in April, and the plan is to look for a new job in the spring. I enjoy who I work for (for the most part), but there is no growth left for me there. The job above mine is the owner's wife's job. So I really don't think I'll be getting promoted anymore haha.

I've also lost almost 30 pounds since the summer, and I'm really proud of myself.

So ya. Operation "year of jamie" ... major success.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Some thoughts

Alright, so its been a while since I've written an opinion piece. And why not go with the touchy subject of why I don't think fathering a child necessarily (key word) means having to be financially responsible.

I was born to a single mother and have never met my father, my mother was also a complete failure as a parent and I was raised in foster care. Just to give you a small understanding of where I'm coming from.

We don't live in a perfect world, and if we did ... well, everything would be perfect and there would be no need for this post. But alas, we don't.

I think women have an unfair advantage because we bare the children and we are responsible for the decision to bring that child to term or not. We can 100% decide whether or not to keep the child or to abort the pregnancy.

We live in a world, where unfortunately, women sometimes trick men, and end up getting pregnant. Whether it be a casual fling or a committed relationship ... women have lied about being on the pill, being infertile etc. When they are not, and they are hoping to get pregnant. Sometimes just because they want a child, sometimes because they just want to trap someone else into staying with them.

These are primarily the situations I am referring to, where the male is under the impression that measures are being taken to protect there are no unwanted pregnancies, and have expressed that they don't desire to have any children at this point in time.

An unwanted pregnancy is an unwanted pregnancy, whether on the behalf of the mother or the father. And I'll state now that I am pro-adoption, and believe that abortion shouldn't be the first choice, but that it should be left as a choice ... there are too many factors and unique situations to advocate wholly pro-life or pro-choice ... ideally adoption is the answer for unplanned or unwanted pregancies, but not everything is ideal.

The male counterpart, right now, has no option when he finds himself in a situation where there is an unwanted pregnancy and the mother wants to keep the baby. He is SOL, he has 18 years of child support ahead of him. Whereas a woman does have the decision to end a pregnancy she does not want to be responsible for.

If I could create legislation, I'd try to make it optional for a father to sign off on his rights to parent hood, when it has been clear from the start that they weren't ready for a child, and a mother is insisting on keeping the child. A bad choice shouldn't make someone responsible for the rest of their life. Nor should a woman be forced into giving up that child, but if she is aware that she'll be doing this all on her own, she might give it a little more thought. Because once again, I'm talking about situations primarily where a woman is being deceitful about her intentions. Forgetting to put a condom on should never been an excuse.

I'd say then the opposite should also be true, if a woman doesn't want the pregnancy and the father does, she shouldn't be allowed to abort, but should be allowed to sign off on her responsibilites. Unfortunately, the flaw in that, is that the woman would have to carry an unwanted child, and tests have proven that there are effects to a fetus when a woman is emotionally stressed (for lack of a better word). And I believe the the mother's health and well being (emotional or physical) should take priority.

Those are my thoughts, I know not many feel the same.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Sometimes I miss it

As the summer wraps up, my mind thinks of camp. I just watched a girls camp video, and I'm a little teared up. It has been 5 years since I was last at Pioneer and it wasn't by choice that I stopped going. And I still miss it, and it still hurts.

I don't know if it hurts because those were simpler days, and where God was so painstakingly real for me. Or if its because of the way things ended and my frustrations with the current director. I don't know if I will ever completely stop missing camp, and maybe thats why I was never the "right" staff for Pioneer, because I had too much of a vested interest. I was there for camp to feed into me, more than so that I could feed into others.

Maybe some of it is because I simply miss the naivety and innocence that surrounded me there, where I could forget the dark stains of my past and where turning to God didn't hurt.

Maybe its because I've got my one foot poised out in front of me, my whole life ahead of me, everything is falling into place ... but yet, something just feels ... off.

Perhaps today is one of the days where the still small voice is whispering to me, and it causes unease. Though I find irony that an equally contesting feeling is to take up habits that were worse for wear from my past.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm not perfect ...

Nor have I ever claimed to be.

And I have insecurities, and worries. I have hopes and dreams. I have secrets and things I'm not proud of.

I made the decision this time last summer that I was ready for something real, something honest ... I was ready for a relationship.

I made the realization in the fall that in order for that to be a good thing, and grow in a healthy direction, I needed to seriously look at my life and my influences. And I needed to start with pruning my social tree. To get rid of those who did not encourage me to goodness, who did not appreciate the person I am, and the one person who was strangling my faith.

The latter, was very difficult, and I find it kind of ironic that they were one of the influential people who helped bring me to Christ, and also the person who turned me off of church. I am not calling victim, I take responsibility for my decisions and actions. I was not 'duped', but they did abuse their influence in my life.

I made other painful snips and cuts in my social circle. I took a long, hard and honest look at myself, my life, who I was becoming. And I was not happy, nor was I proud. And I decided to change. I decided 2008 was the year of Jamie. And since the year is half over I thought I'd check in.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, who I love. And with whom I am excited to share the next weeks, months and hopefully years with.

I have gone back to school, and will be finishing in either December or April (depending on if I want to take two courses at once).

I have a wonderful roomie.

People have commented about how I have a much more positive glow about me. And I feel it too.

2008 is the year of Jamie, and I'm making it happen.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Shout Out

So ... I'm a big fan of Amy Campbell's music. If you like good indie folk type music, she has two recordings out right now. She has The Official Bootleg which is a live recording of a show from last month, which is being used as a fundraiser for her upcoming double disc (!!!) CD, "Oh Heart, Oh Highway". Support local and independent talent, I recommend you buying a CD :) She also has a second CD Architecture, is a professional recording of a live show from a couple of years ago. I have both, they don't disappoint.